Posts tagged depression
i’ve been doing this the past week or so and i think it has brought my mood up a little bit, (by one point if my mood was on a scale 1-10)
also whenever people cut me off in traffic and then get stuck by another car up ahead i don’t even get mad anymore i just laugh hysterically
nothing surprises me. i don’t get excited or nervous much. i can predict things.
i’m not dead, though, i’m actually worse than dead… i’m depressed/angry/sad a lot. music doesn’t even make me feel better anymore.
(via godofidea)
tfw you think about suicide several times every hour
life is just boring and sad and pointless lately. today i felt a little better than usual because i just felt very nostalgic about all this stuff. i probably focus on the negative more than the positive. i know i do because every little bad thing said or done to or by me i repeat in my head and i forget about good things. i wish i remembered to write down good conversations i had with people more. i did a little bit but not enough.
also i feel like my existence is pointless and i don’t provide any value to anyone or anything. but i guess that’s not entirely true. i try to have a philosophy as to where living matter is more interesting/better than dead matter. like, planet earth is better than the other planets because of the life. so going on that notion i would tell myself that i am overall a good thing. but i still am unsure because i am kind of spoiled and maybe i would be better off dead and my ashes going to rebuilding the ocean or something….i don’t know….
(this isn’t a cry for attention i’m just getting it off my chest and maybe someone else will feel better reading this.)
i wanna die but maybe something cool will happen so ill stay alive for now
(via glitternipples)
life is pointless and i feel like i put in 110% effort to please others/do good things and what they give me in return a pile of shit.
i hate materialism. it is so unbelievably out of control in our society and usually the reason for our problems. we have so much technology and hope yet we waste it away on flashy cars and clothes.
i don’t know what is wrong with my head, but lately everything makes me uncomfortable/cringe. for example:
-cement is too hard and i thus hate walking/driving
-i get stuck thinking about body parts such as organs/bones and disgust myself
-paper annoys me
-small things (beads, seeds, pebbles) make me cringe; and so on….
i’m trying not to create psychological problems for myself but i feel like that’s what i’m doing sometimes. i’ll just wait and check it out in a few weeks if it doesn’t stop. actually, i have been able to redirect my thinking to stop mild panic attacks and ocd, so i will just have to try that now.
